For my kids when they are teens: Mom’s top 10 list for staying out of poverty...

1. Believe you can change your circumstances. You are not powerless. There is always something you can do to make your life better (even if it’s only a change in attitude).

2. Discover your resources. If you live somewhere in the USA, there are lots of them. Many at no to low cost. Public libraries, public transportation, and community health clinics should be at the top of your list.

3. Visit your local community or state college and register for classes. Commit to being a good student. Make academic life a top priority.

1. Visit the financial aid office for tuition assistance.
2. Make an appointment with an academic advisor to help you choose an area of study that will teach you a trade or specialized skill you will enjoy.

1. Healthcare/nursing
2. EMT
3. Teaching credential
4. Mechanics
5. Computers
6. Culinary

c)  Do not waste your time, energy and money studying a field that will not ensure employment and a living wage post-graduation. You need both skills and knowledge to become successful.

4) Get an entry level job and commit to being on time and a dependable, hard working, honest employee.

1. You may not love or even like the job, but if you have a good attitude and understand it’s a necessary stepping stone to reach your goals, gain experience and skills, and pay the bills, then you will develop and grow personally and professionally.
2. If finding a job is a challenge, don’t be afraid to take a job that you feel is below your skill/pay level. Supervisors promote quickly from within those who can handle responsibility.

5) Avoid blowing your paycheck on booze, drugs, cigarettes, junk food, electronics and other non-necessity items. Find enjoyable things to do in your free time that are low or no cost. Join a running club, volunteer at a children’s home or pet shelter, join a community theater, or earn some extra money by picking up a second part-time job (banquet server, babysitting, lawn care, etc.)

6) Learn the art of being frugal. Most self-made millionaires stay rich because they know how to manage money. Stay away from credit cards. Buy what you can afford and save the rest.

7) Find friends who have similar goals as you. This way you won’t be tempted to sabotage your own goals with what your circle is doing. This is also a great way to create a positive support system for yourself.

8) Download and read a daily devotional app for inspiration. Proverbs and the Daily Bread are perfect for guiding your way and providing encouragement when life becomes overwhelming. Find a church you like and make a point to attend service weekly. Worship, prayer and an uplifting message can revive your spirit and release the burdens of life. Know that God has a great plan for your life...you only need to listen.

9) Take 5-10 minutes for yourself each day to meditate, clear your mind and spend some quiet time with God. Stress can take over very quickly and affect our physical and mental health and well being. Prayer is the best way I have found to release worry, fear, anxiety and allow the Holy Spirit to guide, strengthen and bring peace and comfort in all circumstances.

10) Take good care of yourself. This includes your mind, body and spirit.

1. Eat well. Don’t skip meals or live on caffeine and sugar. You WILL burn out and become sick eventually.
2. Drink a liter of water every morning to improve brain circulation and energize and detoxify cells.
3. Be physically active everyday. Walk, walk, walk everywhere. Do 5-10 minutes of Yoga sun salutations morning and night.
4. Avoid toxins - alcohol, sugar, drugs, cigarettes, fast food, excessive caffeine/energy drinks. All of these things will deplete you of your energy, mental capacity, general health and well being. They are counterproductive to success.
5. Drive safely. Wear your seatbelt. Don’t text and drive or drink and drive. Don’t ride with people who text/drink and drive. Avoid spending time with people who don’t make good choices. Practice safe sex or abstinence.
6. Go for an annual physical and blood work every year. If healthcare is a challenge, visit a community health clinic. You may have to wait in line a while, but you would anyway for for a free ipad and who’s going to argue that a free ipad is more important than a person’s health?

In the very least, know that Mom and Dad love you with our hearts and souls. You are blessings beyond our wildest dreams. We are here for you in all circumstances, not to enable you, but to love and encourage you. We always want the absolute best for you and will be praying for you every day.

Living Faith

Living Faith

It’s a new year and most of us have already laid down plans for new year's resolutions and probably already forgotten them. On the top of my list of resolutions for 2016 is continuing to grow in my faith. I have this little card that I keep stuck to my fridge at eye level. It says Living Faith and then it has the word TRUST running down the left side with a scripture linked to each letter.

Take one day at a time - from Matthew 6:34

Remember, all thing work together for good. - Romans 8:28

Under no circumstances should you worry. - Philippians 4:6

Start every day with prayer and Thanksgiving. - Thessalonians 5:17

The Lord will never forsake you, Don’t ever forget that! - Hebrews 13:5

Trust is a hard thing to practice, isn’t it? Recently, it has become clear to me that Trusting in God is the antidote for fear and chronic worry.This world is filled with so many fearful things and people to be afraid of. One of my biggest fears is of sharks! I know, it sounds silly compared to the infiltration of Isis or the fact that 1 out 3 of us will be diagnosed with some form of cancer at some point in our lives. You see though, this fear of sharks wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t come from a family of surfers who I feel pressure from to paddle out into the unpredictable and wild ocean on a regular basis. My boys wanted to go surfing a while back and there had just been a shark attack reported. I don’t want them growing up being fraidy cats (like me), so I thought of every way I could minimize the risk. I decided to drive them up to the Cocoa beach pier. Here the water is shallow, there is a lifeguard on duty, there are typically lots of people in the water and it’s only 10 minutes from Cape Canaveral hospital - just in case we need it. I stood there in the knee deep water watching both of them like a hawk as they fooled around on their soft-techs in the white water. In the event they were attacked, I had a whole scenerio planned out in my head to save them and spare their limbs. Neither of them had any idea I was on guard and would do whatever it took to keep them safe - because it’s a given that I will protect them. This is how much I love them as any good parent does. They are so precious to me!  I thought to myself on that day how being a parent is a wonderful and highly responsible position. Those two boys trust me with their well being, safety, security, nourishment, education and the list goes on...and then it hit me! Why haven’t I fully trusted God with my wellbeing, safety, security, etc. In the flesh, I am incapable of loving anyone or anything in the way that God loves me as his daughter. His love is an agape love, a supernatural love, a kind of love that humans have no comprehension of! We can love deeply and do love deeply, but our way of love is no match for our Creator. His love is extravagant! What in our world is extravagant? By definition, extravagant means lacking restraint; exceeding what is reasonable; absurd! God’s love is so crazy for us that it is absurd! It’s absurd for us to imagine sacrificing one of our beloved children for the greater good, but that’s what God did for us! He sent his son, Christ Jesus, to carry the punishment of our sin so that he could continue to love us and we could be with him eternally! What kind of love is that?? A mind blowing kind of love. Impossible for us to even wrap our heads around! With this kind of love, why do I worry so much about my own well being, safety, security and everything else I worry about? Why am I even afraid when I know what I will do to keep my kids safe? Why wouldn’t my God, my Creator, take every precaution and keep a watchful eye to keep me safe? And what I have discovered is that when I do put my full trust in God, knowing that He will guide and protect me, life is so much better!! It is lighter and joyful and there is less stress and less angst and even when I suffer...and I do, we all do. We all experience trials and tribulations of the flesh, but still He comforts me and guides me and instead of always looking down at the ground where there is dirt and garbage and filth, he gently lifts my head up to look at the vastness of the bright blue sky and this gives me a sense of clarity. It clears my head to realize that all of these trials and sufferings in life are just a blip on the radar compared to the beauty of living in Christ Jesus.

Sweet Pea got away!

Here I am. I am standing across from my husband and holding steady a heavy 4 x 4 fence post level while He pours quick-dry concrete into the hole surrounding it. I hear the faint laughter of my two boys. They are out of sight and a ways down our quiet street, but I can tell they are headed back to the house by the sound of their giggles drifting closer.

It is late afternoon and the sun is drifting over to the west, giving the sky that glorious bluish-orange hue. My husband and I have been working diligently trying to get all 30 posts in the ground all that Saturday, inching our way closer to erecting our much needed new privacy fence. Our little wiener dog, Sweet Pea, had been escaping out of the old fence daily. Her nose gets the best of her and she can’t help but do whatever it takes to follow a scent.

It had taken us a couple of weeks, working a few hours here and there as we could to demo the old fence. This meant she had to stay inside until we could find 15 minutes to take her for a much needed daily jaunt around the neighborhood. She was not happy about her quarantine and had been showing us her disapproval by pooping on the living room rug. I wasn't too happy about the situation, either, so I was anxious to get the fence job done.

Luckily, now that the boys are 5 and 7, I have been loosening the Mommy tether chord and allowing them to be in charge of running sweet pea up and down our street without me. At this particular time, I am so glad they were able to because I am becoming a little overwhelmed with our current fencing project. It it the end of July in Florida and feeling incredibly muggy and H-O-T. If it hadn’t been for sweet Pea’s constant escapes, we would have waited until winter to do the fence, but my concerns for our beloved pup’s safety was enough to move us forward with the labor intensive project.

So, here I am, tired, dirty, hot and sweaty, keeping an 8 foot, 50 pound post steady for the 25th time that day when my ears perk up as I hear the sound of Sweet Pea’s collar jingling, the sound of her leash dragging on the pavement and the most beautiful sound to me in the world - my two precious boys in breathless giggles. I know a vision of them will appear any second as they are heading back to the house and I look up just in time to see our little miniature dachshund running full speed, ears flying back, grin on her face. She is free of her young masters, running past our house with no one in charge of her leash. Here come my two silly boys running full speed after her - red faced, sweaty, laughing hysterically. In this moment, I take a snapshot with my mind to imprint that perfect vision into my happy mommy mental scrapbook. Every mom has one - that area of your mind where you cherish so many incredible moments experienced as a mother. God has blessed me in this moment. My attitude has been less than stellar, but witnessing thirty seconds of joy from my two children has turned my frown upside down. Yes, I admit it. I get distracted from focusing on my kids by the gazillion responsibilities I have. Yes, I get stuck in my head more times throughout the day than I’d like to admit. My children don’t always get the best of me and I often get frustrated with the school stuff, toys, sport equipment, dirty shoes and socks resting everywhere they do not belong. The laundry and dish monsters, the whining and sibling disagreements all overwhelm me most days. But, at the end of the day, I LOVE being a mom and I will never stop thanking God for the precious children that gave the name that so many other amazing women share...Mommy.

One day I will write a book and include this insight in it. The adventures of Sweet Pea - Tales of Brock and Kai from her little doggy perspective. What happened that made one of the boy’s drop her leash and what was she thinking about when she realized she was free of them? Only history knows, but one thing's for sure….I will honor these small moments until the day the Lord takes me.

To Mothers of boys....

      New Mexico is one of those places where people are so friendly they wave to you even when they have no idea who you are. My Dad was raised in Roswell, NM; I lived there for a while as a child. I recall riding around in my Daddy’s pick-up and wondering how he knew so many people. He didn’t really, of course, but I appreciated the courtesy and tolerance that most New Mexicans were in the habit of demonstrating and I miss it.

     Like most Americans, this recent school shooting in Roswell has really hit home for my family.  We are left dumbfounded, scratching our heads, asking why? What in the world would possess a child to shoot his classmates? Among today’s headlines we see another shooting. A man shoots another man inside a movie theater after an altercation over texting. No doubt the texting was annoying, but to kill someone over it? It seems as if the shooter had been eagerly waiting for someone to push him over the edge; looking for an excuse to hurt someone as badly as he had been hurt. As if he needed someone to share in his pain.  I sincerely wish that prevention of these types of tragedies were as simple as passing gun control laws, but in reality most of us know that this is a complicated mix of emotional health, societal and legislative issues.  As I reflect on the civilian shootings that have made headlines in my lifetime, I see the common denominator…the perps have been males.     

     I have two sons. They are 4 and 6 years old. I have witnessed these two boys and their little friend’s progress through the following life stages: at about 2 years they begin their obsessions with trains and locomotives spending hours putting tracks together and creating imaginary scenarios for their trains to fall off cliffs and bridges. At 3 years old they begin a fascination with fire engines and rock crushing monster trucks. Somewhere between 4 and 5 years old they move into fighting ninjas with swords using wild kicks and punches. At about this time, we also witness them using their thumb and index fingers to simulate a pistol. Among my circle, this is true even for boys whose parents have never exposed them to guns. Perplexing, don’t you think? I have come to think there is a “shoot ‘em up, bang-bang” gene in every male. I am not a scientist, but it would make sense that in pre-modern times, this innate urge to defend and kill in males is a survival mechanism. Historically there has been a male role-model to teach young boys how to use this instinct to protect and feed their families. Now in the current day U.S., eminent danger is not a daily part of life for most, but males continue walking around with this instinct and if not nurtured properly, can lead to misuse and consequently tragedy. I don’t pretend to be an expert in any of this, but it seems to me the best prevention begins at home.


     Recently, I had a conversation with a friend of mine. She is a mother of 4 with kids ages 5 to 18 yrs, three of them are boys. I was telling her how I was concerned about my youngest son being competitive academically.  She says to me, “What you should really being asking yourself is this....is He kind? Is he a kind person to people, to pets, to his toys and other people’s property? This is what really matters. Everything else will fall into place.”  Yes, intellect matters but emotional intelligence including kindness, patience, tolerance, compassion, forgiveness and humor are the tools that will keep our kids from shooting up schools and public places. Yes, it is a complicated issue, but who will deny that this is the best place to start with our kids?


     Out of curiosity, I asked Suri on my iPhone about empathy. Her response, “I do not understand Empathy. I can look it up on the web.” No, Suri would not understand empathy because she is a computer; full of knowledge, yes, but completely lacking in the understanding of the human condition. This is the direction we are headed as we attempt to pump large amounts of information into our kids without taking the time to help them understand and communicate their emotions.

     I know a story of a young boy who at breakfast one morning asked his father what he wanted him to be when he grew up. The boy excitedly prompted, “A doctor, Daddy? A police officer? How about an astronaut?” The Father looked at his son for moment, then simply responded, “Son”, he said, “I want you to be kind.”  That’s it. No dreams of grandeur for this Dad. He only wanted his son to be kind to others.

     I encourage parents not only to teach kindness and communication of emotions, but also to tell your kids they are wonderfully made. Explain to them there has never been another person exactly like them, not now, not ever. They are one-of-a-kind. Be real with them and help them to understand that love and joy is a part of life as is suffering and pain. It is not a question of if we will suffer because everyone does. Some of the most pivotal people throughout history who brought about positive change experienced tremendous suffering. Even Jesus did, and he is the Son of Man! These people show us how the defining thing in life is how we will carry on and search for the beauty in life amidst the suffering. We need to be able to find purpose in the pain.

     Lastly, help your children shift the focus away from themselves and look at the grand scheme of things. Even if you don’t believe in God or are unsure about your faith, allowing your children to believe there is a Creator watching over them and holding them accountable for their actions is a gift worth being uncomfortable over. All religion aside, it seems to me, we are doing more harm than good telling our kids there is no God and teaching them to believe they simply came about as a random act of nature and evolved from a single cell organism. Few can argue that there is no HOPE in this. Hope is what lifts us up when we are consumed by pain, anguish and despair. Inspirational Author, H. Jackson Brown.  Jr. said, “Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.” 

     On a final note, I was asking my son on the way to school if he knows who loves him.  He began with the list, “Mommy, Daddy, Brother, Grandma, Grandpa…” I nodded approvingly and said, “yes, and who loves you most of all?” He looked up at me with bright eyes and a big smile and answered, “GOD!” I am at peace knowing that if this precious life doesn’t go as planned, my son knows deep down that he is deeply loved and if all else fails, he will have hope for a brighter day and I wish the same for every child.

Thanks for reading. God Bless! 

Brock having a snack in Papi's chair...

The future of surfing....

Brock Dancing...

Papi and Brock having fun with some dance moves...